Padma is excited to learn that her new next-door neighbor, Maya, is also a woman of color with lineage from the same region of India. Padma has felt lonely and isolated in her predominately white neighborhood and is relieved to hear that she will share her community with someone who has a similar background.
Upon their first meeting, Padma is eager to connect with Maya about her experiences as a woman of color, particularly as an Indian woman living in a predominately white neighborhood. In the conversation, Padma quickly discerns that Maya’s experience as a woman of color is not as salient and she seems disinterested and disengaged in talking about issues of race and gender.
Padma leaves their first conversation frustrated and disappointed about Maya’s disengagement with issues that are very important to her. She takes time to reflect, alone and with Maya, about the nuances and circumstances of their experiences. Padma concludes that they express their pride about who they are in different ways and finds new motivation to pursue friendship with Maya.
- The Issue: Padma’s eagerness to connect with someone like her led to confusion and disappointment shared identities did not lead to shared values.
- The Deliberation: Padma took time to reflect and empathize with Maya and consider her perspective and how their unique life experiences have resulted in different ways of moving through the world.
- The Growth: Padma recognizes differences in the lived experiences of people who share her identity, and the value placed on that identity. Padma is more open to being in relationship with people different than her, in particular, people who share her salient group memberships.