Carl, Sean, and Miguel – Opening Up to Emotions

Carl and Sean are both coordinators in the central budget and planning office. As a pair, they approach their supervisor, Miguel, to share concerns about patterns of emotion they find distracting and unprofessional in the department staff meetings. Carl and Sean, who identify as men, assert that their colleagues, mostly women, have expressions of emotion that they perceive to derail conversations. They believe emotions should be mediated so the team meetings can be focused on work.

Miguel, who also identifies as a man, challenges Carl’s and Sean’s concerns and asserts that many patterns of emotion are present in the staff meetings. Miguel highlights an emotional pattern among men that he experiences as aggressive, commanding and intimidating, and further asserts that men’s expressions of emotion in the meeting are in fact the most pressing challenge for the team.

Miguel asserts that emotional engagement at work is not only reasonable and humane, it also enables their work and lends to the cultivation of passion, creativity and group formation. Miguel challenges Carl and Sean to reflect on their gendered attitudes about emotion and how they discern what emotions are acceptable and not acceptable. Miguel continues to check-in with Sean and Carl as he prepares to open up the dialogue to the entire staff.

 

Key Take-Aways
  • The Issue: A pair of colleagues is concerned about a pattern of emotion they regard as disruptive in staff meetings and turn to their supervisor for support and intervention.
  • The Deliberation: In discussion, the supervisor reframes the colleagues’ concerns to explore how their expectations are gendered and lacking critical self-awareness. 
  • The Growth: A group of men within the team is able to have a frank and productive conversation about their gender norms and expectations and considers the value of diverse emotional expression in collaborative endeavors.